Sums

in that empty house
where i keep a few colored pots and bottles
some old maps and used tickets
i spend my evening watching the cobwebs
eating the leftovers and listening to my own footsteps
not that i am hungry
only in my sleep i get thirsty, but sleep doesn't come

i calculate
how much time has gone
when i collected these pots
how many evenings i have spent waiting for your call
for you to call me
i calculate how i lost directions
and began to write down the promises i would make
i begin to look for bunny rabbits in the clouds

i remember more
when it began to rain
i remember that evening watching a play
and then roles changed
i have begun to wonder why my feet hurt so much
why doesn't it rain when im walking
why is the food so cold

i sit and write
the mistakes i made
the stories i drew on empty sheets
the doors that i thought were on my wall
the keys that never would fit
i sit and wonder
how will i move so many pots and bottles
how will everything remain unbroken.