one whole year!!!

To kolkata-15th january 2007

unhurt, unheard and unseen
the real unknown
truth in a package
of dissappointment, disillusion
and dust
to dust my pride
begins in a city
of unchained dreams
dreams of a silver sun
of a flaky morning
of an orange moon
still wrapped
in the mist
of a soft winter light

all smiling into the camera.

Selling away

Buy my freedom
i am selling it cheap,
only two silver coins,
and, one heart beat

Even one coin will do,
and the beat could be cold,
just give me something,
i want my freedom sold

Still bargain!!
then put me in your chain,
cut my flesh,give me a wound
give me death, throw me a noose

give me something,
something you choose...
take away my freedom

someone just told me
Freedom is just another word,
for nothing left to loose.

Hope

Between heaven and earth
if horizon be the illusion of a kiss
then here i shall stay
and watch them make love all day
in colours
in weathers

I stay till i fall
or rises another wall
on which every brick shall say
here i will stay
in weathers and in colours
under the cover
of a curse called hope.

salvation

faded voices from the past
are amusing balms for wounds
what fails them now
was their triumph once
that stained my hands in disgust

desperate for a sound
makes them wonder
if they were deaf or me
and i walk over the dry sand
from this circle of storm

whirlwinds bring together time
the gone, here, that would be or not
i watch them march to the fight
and drop their weapons

to the icy ring that only screams death

seed

the connecting dots are moving again
they will shift the now to then.
i will stand before the wall in vain
and the vines will cover the marks again.

the dots have begun to form a line
with rusted ends and center plain
i wont play in this tug of war
let time again be the sinner's stain.

little dots now look like clouds
shifting to another barren land
i try to catch the smoke so moist
with my feet under the ground to rest

i only watch the dots float away...

lets talk!!!!

never mind where i walk
i still walk in a circle
and reach the same old ruins of a future.

does it matter what i mean?
i still scream in echoes of a dream
and wake up in the coffin of my afterlife.

who lies with me here in this silence
is not the angel of release
but the medusa in my mirror

who turned myself into stone...

Moira

for moira..

shadows of a desire rise
of wishful prayers to the ocean
the oyesters are just waking from their dream
and joan of arc is happy it seems
millions following they can see her rise

star of the ocean
exceptional cause of love
my love she sleeps in my love

when the dawn shall break
and she open her eyes
blessed will be the ocean
with her fingers touching the breeze
of a soft sunny day.

i promise!!!!

this time when it shall rain
i shall not count my steps
this time when im late
i shall not try to find a way
if this road met mine years ago
i would not be here
and this time if the road kisses
i shall walk with it
without a promise
without my umbrella
no games
only dots on the sand by the sea
shall know the secret.

showcase

sitting in her glass cage
she watches them clap
she has known some of them
that blotted face
is the knight who surrendered last week
the one on the left
is the restless hangman of time
those two in the right
are the fools who thought they were invisible
somewhere in between
stands a woman who always brought gifts
there again, they come
the bunch of clowns
then she sees them both
standing apart
one is the keeper of the ballot box
and the other holds a magic eraser
they have just joined you see

this is glass not air
this cuts to test, doesnt spare
to touch her skin they need to break this wall
its the test of a thousand births to recall

they have come to see her dance today
to raise her
to slaughter her then
the hangman tightens the noose
the fools are out with their knives
the colourless face is blotting in acid
the clowns are slowly unmasking
woman there has only prayers
and them standing apart are helpless now

only her eyes twinkled before she fell once more.

foriegn lands

one september shall remember her
when the tin birds scratched a trail
they all saw her through the fog
and smiled for she trembled unbared
as phone booths turned to violin players
and children turned to paper cut outs
they followed her everywhere
and beside the graveyard of time and times
they made her loose her way

that september she came back to her love
of myriad faces
that never saw her.

Innocent

men are taught to apologize for their weakness, women for their strengths.

There,
she stands before you naked.
You know her skin is white.
Above her there shines a light,
that makes her look so red
and thats why you hate her.

You can see her eyes are crystal
hence you see through them,
the black wall behind her,
and some foggy landscape beyond.
You know her flesh is pure,
and thats why you hate her.

You can see her feet are blood soaked.
She killed the her in them,
and still she stands unbent.
You know that she's the hero,
and thats why you hate her.

There
she is bared again.
The crystals have begun to melt.
She looks around for her again,
and you know that you have found her,
you have more reasons to love her
and thats why you hate her.

painted...

hatched lines on a canvas 'Kolkata'
hides nostalgia under flowery color heads
sqeals of laughter as the wheels crush
and drops of diamond unseen by the 'rush'

Only waste

Wasted night
for a wasted heart
which wasted a life
then rose to a wasted day
and was born again

Bagful of waste
looks back at wasted time
and brings here wasteful fear
to a new born waste

Where again

Burnt sand cries for a storm
that buries memories of a night
and wakes to the light of the only dawn
in which children make the song.

Green grass cries all night
and lies to the sun in a breath
then dies below the feet of a child
who cries for a broken myth.

Blue sky cries for a rainbow
that is stuck midway a dream
and fights memories through and through
that cries in the seventh beam .

Life cries for living a life
and life is lost somewhere
searching for the hands with warmth
that cold flesh has lost nowhere.

Unfinished unedited...poem.......

Clasped by the lights of my dream
when i walk towards a shore
I see not life, but stolen hours
that cry on broken bones

Kissed by the salts of my ocean
that drown the screams of a moment
I kill the foetus of a dream
that grows in the womb of a hope

Left on the island of the deaf
as i gather the proof of sound
I see the roots of my end
covering the skies unbound

Living through my sins i wake
the sin of trying to answer
i choose to walk the maze of questions
that meet every life hereafter

i watch myself

a prayer unheard
a miracle unused
a time lost
and my story unfinished


some blushing moments
some silly games
some sand and shells
and my memories blurred

a mirror bared
a rosary broken
a flute unhappy
and my life begins

a blotted sketch
a letter unread
a photograph scratched
and my love undone

a silver strand
a darker age
a bronzed skin
and my time is still

as i watch myself

Prayer

Living by her own
she tires
on the ground that scribbles her name
she clears the fog to see time again,
every time
before she turns insane
she wonders why the trees look grey
and her hair
silver as the river waves
she walks across the desert of dreams
to reach
where the night falls?
she bares her cloak of childhood stories
and holds the dark to cover her sins
from another life
she hears them scream
and lets this life pass like a dream
and as she walks along this name
next life promise her
her skin shall bear no more shame
and i shall, only, live.

Miracle

lucky boy holds a torn photograph,
a picture of nothing he says
A secret that showed in red light,
made love with him.

The green door creaked as he walked past
the picture trembled in wet hands
A few footsteps that knew it all,
and didnt let them fall.

The rays of sun when smiled to scorch,
he tore the shame
and when everything was jealous and green,
he made love again.

A little boy once

Little boy of no age
cries in the white light,
buries his face in the heart,
and reads her feiry tale
Ageless kisses of hope
melt in the puddle of raindrops,
and mirror they bring to her,
as she reads her grey lines
little boy colours them
in pastels and in dreams
White and black and grey,
look yellow blue and silver
and golden lips kiss the boy,
They hold hands,
and wet their feet in the puddle,
Tell me mirror
fairy tale is it?
or tales of a dream....

Java city

Saved in an orange clay bowl
some ash and cigarette butts
embrace a night,

Under the glossy cover of a comic book
walk the eyes of a child,

Sipping some iced mint tea
she reads their silence,

Not one could see inside,
the city where coffee brews
Not one was heard mumuring
the whispers of destiny,

Who knows? How many times?
I walked past that land
unable to see inside
and a glance waiting,
Who knows? How many times?
The ash flew,
The nights smiled,
The eyes found a rescue,
and silence played on destiny
till today......

Traveller

Frozen in the fuming hearts
molten in the summits by sunshine
niether her face nor her shame leaves her
only a rag flutters in the wind
baring her skin to the storms of time

In her hands she holds blisters since ages
niether the morning nor the night leaves her
only her broken staff measures path
touching her feet every time she falls

Casteaway skin she touches when she bathes
niether stains nor satin leave her soul
only some silver strands colour her hair
and bring time to a stand still
leaving only memories of an empty yesterday....

Witness

Traveller
through lanes of yesterday's mind
Wandering the streets of wisdom,
Watching the metamorphosis
in the wrinkles of a child,
Entering the first foetus cell,
Drawing lines of destiny
and wiping them on the sands,
Witness to a ruined monument
and flowing in the eyes
that watch the highway

Time walks on....

-

February 20th, 2007

i have never written poems in bengali...however this seems very interesting......

riddhimanna: ja pakhi ja udhe, akaash tokey dakche abaar, rong mekhe ne abar chokhey, brishti hoye namish kono onno dine oono juge amar chokhey
aamar bukey

me: jabo..tobey pakhi na...hawa hoye ubey jetey chai
jokhon tui kandbi tokey chunye jetey chai

riddhimanna: tobey haw, bondhu, ator, bhanga jomindarer shawkher botoler!!!

me: nah...
shawkher botoley na...khola akash dakchey hoye baaj

kaporer bhanjer thekeo urey jabo aaj.

riddhimanna: chotobaelar notun boiyer notun gawndher moto!!

me: haen rey sei gondho hoye...jabo kono choto cheler kachey
lukiye thakbo tar boyiyer bhetor..keu dhorey naey pachey!!!!

Slipping through

Fate of a cursed child
what more
an invisible hole
underneath the chosen bowl
When angels came
they turned to ghosts
when ghosts were real
they burnt her hands
when he brought love
she had none to hold

only time leaks away

Nightmare

A haunted boat hits a shore.
Faceless ghosts of tomorrows past
and the lame dog
that whined every night
The watchman
who walked in smoke
and smelt of rum.
The beggar wrote poems
and carried a bloody heart in his bowl.

Under the night's cover they came
one by one
and rolled on sand.
They carried the shore
on their skin
and back they went
to the black boat of rotten wood
to vanish under the cloak

of a dark wave

that froze in her eyes

Deja' vu

Diced between

the black and white
i walk,

A soldier comes

with poison eyes

A knight walks in
his horse with wings
Here comes a commoner

his camel so blind,

Waiting to move through this maze

frozen by her numb gaze
her choice of strides
her choice of choices
her vision so weak
her voice so bleak

How does she say
Let the sixes roll

The soldier be dead
The knight surrender
The oasis be found
and the commoner

become even more dust

and she roll aces on it.

rain

million droplets
on a diamond maiden
under a golden glow

there she stands
where taxis whizz in a row

Dust smells
like the year gone by
diamond maiden

there she waits
where people pass to and fro

Voices mingle
with murmurs of drizzle
bluring visions
blured journey
diamond maiden
crosses the street
where, all blindly move their feet

If droplets froze
If the taxis chose
If the year came back
If murmurs screamed
If visions be clear
then all would see

diamond maidenwould rise again

First love

Two young souls
and their first love
that -was me

A prison called suffocate
and its keeper
substitute to surrender
that -was her pride

Brothels on a street called love
substitute to a whore
that- was her heart

A mirror that calls her friend
and a reflection that blurs
substitute to anger
those- were her tears

A mad circus
and laughter missing
substitute to a clown
that- was her worth

A silk merchant
painting shadows
and his iron ship sailing far west
first love to his ship
here -i am I again

Yes i am...

They say im wierd

wierdness is me

im it

in it i live crouched

not in fear

but dormant

to break open

like molten glass

taking shapes

in an earthen fire

flowing through iron hands

like a tear when i drop

break to thousand pieces

to never break again

Secret of the ghosts

As Manas and Snehal filled in the aquarium i watched, their shadows grow and move, from the other side of the glass..
in murky waters they place a type writer, a broken steering wheel, a gun, a telephone...etc...
all this whle lit by a ship lamp whose flickering rings of light make my ghosts come to life...

From another life...

Storm on her shoulder she walks
many a debts to pay
she was the man
she was her
both in the harem of love
drenched in bleeding of hearts
signs show
signs fade
like a hero they raise her
and slaughter her again
not even a martyr's name
here this path she dreads
but angels come
angels go
death in their baskets they tow

a salvation awaited

a cold touch of lust

memories blur

memories awake

through a night that weaves desires

she dies

she lives again

Silver streaks

Silver streaks

a flash of light..

eyes open

in the years gone by,

in silver streaks

of hopes

of dreams

gone with the clouds of july

leaving silver streaks

of memories

of wishful moments

never ending desires

entangled in silver streaks...

silver streaks of these locks,

bring silver sparkles

to eyes

blurring all boundaries...

It rains....

It rains yet again

everything silver

everything clear

every mist

every doubt

every cloud

and i smile

to nothing

only the feeling

i am

i am

clouds pour

to still eyes

takes a heart

to a fairy land

silver again

silver streaks say

i am

i am

The year gone by...

Remember tomorrow?

how time played

Remember today?

it stopped by, as it passed

Remember yesterday?

it stole my summers

my misty winters

Remember night?

it stole me

Remember morning?

it woke illusion

Remember now?

i loved..

Again...

Feather touch, on a weathered skin

measures time

longing awaits, for a piece of peace

when he touches

she withers

soft breath, kisses his hands

a flight of dreams

reminds of a time never reached

when she awakes

shadows of light, begin to rise

through her dark hopes

she is the man again

spliced in the nostalgia of romance

she touches him

soul and body touching her feet

feet untouched by dust

there flies dust

there flies time

there flies her dream

and she dances on

thats how she grew up.....

when i had really long hair......farewell

when I and Annie wandered around Delhi..1997

when they called me jhandukta....

freshers...1995